your love for me is like a ...a candle??

i heard a song and one of the main lines was, ‘i’m burning for youuuu, like a candle.


i’d just like to say if a boy wrote that song for me, i’d be pissed.

your love is burning for me like a candle? a candle? seriously. a candle. you mean one of those precious little scented tins of wax with a blissful name on the side of it? one of those? where i’d light it,  and blow it out and dump the wax on the table, and repeat several times to make a lumpy wax sculpture? one of those kinds of candles? or one of those tea light candles where after you light it when ten minutes pass they’re all a pool of wax and almost unusable a second time? or maybe one of those really tall straight ones that are used in weddings and other lame things? one of those?

i’m sorry dude, but if your love is burning for me like a candle, your love is too puny for me. i can walk by you too quickly and your love for me would burn out. i could cry on you once, and your love would burn out. i could lick my fingers and pinch you and your flame of love for me would be scorched out. i could whistle your way and your flame would extinguish. nope. your love is not good enough for me, sir. no. your love for me must be that of a forrest fire. (that sentence sounded sorta poetic. because i used, ‘that of a’...)

one of those forrest fires that can’t be quenched by all the firemen in the county with their bigass hoses spraying thousands and thousands of gallons at the base of the fire. one of those forrest fires that only stops burning when there’s nothing left to burn. it has to die. so, uh, your love for me better be like a forrest fire that has to die out before it stops loving me. not a candle. wuss.

i’m sick of christians.

a friend of ours was playing a show last weekend. we went to watch, and then said hello afterwards. we just chatted very quickly and went along with our business. it was loud and hard to talk, and he had to load up his gear.

he emailed me a day later to talk about some stuff that we’ve been working on, and then said, ‘sorry if i came off a bit rude the other nite, and if you heard me swear. my band was ticking me off. i apologize.’ i emailed him back and told him not to worry about a thing. because first off: i didn’t remember him swearing, and second off: i wouldn’t care if he did.

we don’t know each other ALL that well, so i know he didn’t know i’m the ‘cool’ kind of christian. i appreciated his apology. a great deal. but at the same time, it got me thinking... this is the same frame of mind EYE have when i’m in contact with a lot of people who are ‘christians’. i watch what i say a little more. i’m more polite. - i’m not ‘fake’, i’m just a little... cleaned up. 

when i’m with my jesus loving friends that KNOW the real me, I’M the real me. the uncleaned up version of me. when i’m with my ‘non born again christian friends’ i’m the real me. i personally don’t feel like i’m going to be sent to hell if i drop a ‘naughty word’ every now and then. nor do i feel like i’m going to be sent to hell if i talk about how i don’t like most praise and worship music. nor do i feel like i’m going to be sent to hell if i don’t close my eyes when i pray, or dance during praise and worship time or lay my hands on people when i pray for them, or or or or OR OR OR. 


i’m pretty much at the point in life where my ‘christian walk’ is summed up very simply: ‘i love jesus. that’s all.’ 

i’m not a walking hypocrite either. yes, i sometimes swear, and i will admit, my ‘venting sessions’ can turn into a degree of gossip if i’m not careful. i struggle with not hating some people and i have very low patience for people who irritate me, and i’ve been known to be very angry - thru and thru- at times. BUT is that being a hypocrite? no. not at all. that folks, is honesty. what IS being hypocritical is those ‘christians’ that have smiles on their faces 24/7 who always ‘love’ everyone and look disapproving at you when you say ‘crap’. those are the kinds of people i have a hard time not hating. sigh... 

anyway, if we all were the honest, real, jesus loving ‘christians’ that paul and other great dudes of the bible were, we’d all be happy and get along. 

it’s you fake-ass snooty bible thumpers that are hardening peoples’ hearts to the real jesus and what life can be with the real him. it’s you fakers who make us think we have to ‘cleanup’ around you, because who knows WHAT you’ll think of us. 

why do we have to tiptoe around christians? why do we have to be afraid of christians? why do we have to be afraid of what christians are going to think about us? it’s a shame, really. i hate that we have to feel that way. i hate that i have to feel that way. 

if we all were acting out of true love, if we all were acting out of compassion, if we all were acting like the Lord wants us to act like, nobody would be trying to censor themselves when they talk to us. no one would think they need to change their clothes before entering our church. no one would be wondering if they should cover up their cigarette smoke smell with perfume or hiding the wine coolers in the back of the fridge. no one would need to apologize for swearing in front of us. BECAUSE we’d all be loving. caring. understanding. we’d all just LOVE people, and end it at that. true christians should be the people that ANYONE can feel comfortable around -if they were TRUE christians. but, unfortunately, 


most christians make me uncomfortable... 

said to everyone: i love you. you and your filthy mouth. you and your beer. you and your slutty clothes. you and your negative attitude.

so although i respect those of you for treating me proper and watching your mouth and brushing your teeth before hanging out with me, i would love you just as much if you didn’t.