i'm the best frickin wife ever:

casey said something to me the other day that got me thinking. he said, “you’re the most insecure cocky person i know.” i laughed and agreed with him. it’s true. but only in some instances.

if it would come to getting on a stage with thousands of people watching me play and sing, no problem. i got this. if it comes to someone dissing what i belive in, no sweat. i can handle that. when it comes to wearing weird hair and clothes in public, the world is my runway. but when it comes to casey’s opinion of me? that’s a different story.

for those of you that don’t know, i’m an ex-wife. what an ugly label. my first husband was my favorite boyfriend to this day. but he drastically changed once we got married and screwed a girl much less hot than me. but that’s another blog. 

i think the reason i need casey’s approval in everything is because whatshisface’s opinion about the petty things in life altered how he thought of me as a person. if the eggs weren’t cooked right i was a bad wife. if i folded his jeans on the wrong crease, i was a bad and careless wife. if i crafted something that he didn’t enjoy, i wasn’t talented enough.

welp, like i’ve always said, you can be over a divorce and moved on and completely healed, but there will always be side effects. and if your thearispst says that’s not true, then get a new one. because they just want you to keep coming forever and pocket your money. (by the way, if you want a good shrink, let me know. i’ll hook you up. yes, i visit shrinks from time to time. and i love it.) 

anyway. here’s a side effect:

casey thinks i’m all that and a bag of chips. and i believe him. but for the life of me i couldn’t get over the fact that i don’t meet most guys picture of a perfect wife. i don’t cook much. i haaaaate cleaning. i’m blunt and most times have a prickely personality. i’m not soft or quiet hearted. i’m only supportive when i mean it. and i’m not very patient.

nevertheless, this past year i’ve come to really like myself. i always thought i was something special, but this year especially, i’ve just been really enjoying every bit of who God made me. but at the same time, i’ve become more and more insecure about who i am as a wife. i think it’s because i’m becomming more exposed to wives and what they should be like. more of my friends and people i’m in daily contact with are wives. 

for the two years i’ve been married to casey i’ve felt more like a really fun roommate rather than a lovely supportive wife.

then i just lost it one car ride. or maybe casey lost it from listening to one more conversation of my wife insecurities. but anyway- the conversation came up again. casey opened his mouth, “in genisis the Lord created adam a ‘help mate’. eve- a wife. the biblical definition of a wife is someone who helps her husband. And HE helps HER. well? don’t you fit that definition?”

and then it all became clear to me. i’m a fantastic wife. i’m a better wife than you. because there’s only one pink haired brat that can be casey’s wife. i help him. i’m his helpmate. i help him be a better musician. i help him have more compassion. i help him pick out movies. i help him laugh. i help him eat his leftovers. i help him start things. i help him finish what he starts. i help him have fun. i help him get out of the house and play outside. i help him complete his rock star dreams. i help him stay grounded. i help him record music. i help him to realize sometimes he’s an idiot. and he does all of those things for me. except the leftovers. i usually clean my plate and then finish his.

so there you have it. our life is childish and crazy and fun and bold. so with this life we’ve created- i’m the best frickin wife to grace the face of the earth. thank you very much.